Obama on the Issues

The Left-Wing Dictionary

This left-wing lexicon was put together to educate the public about what we leftists actually mean by many terms we commonly use, but which many non-leftists may not be familiar with. This was somewhat inspired by The Right-Wing Christian Dictionary, however, The Left-Wing Dictionary is much more enlightening, with a level of honesty and understanding of economics here that you’re not likely to hear from most other leftists. The main point I want to express is that we leftists should stop hiding the true beliefs and commitment to Karl Marx’s wonderful teachings that we all share deep inside. John Edwards was doing a pretty good job of showing pride in these beliefs, but then long-standing socialist Hillary Clinton finds it necessary to disguise herself as some sort of faux conservative. What a disappointing sell-out (although I’m sure she would actually continue to govern according to the Marxist way)!

Are you confused by the strange glossary of terms used by politically active left-wing organizations like the Democratic Party, MoveOn.org, People for the Amerikan Way, the Alliance for Justice, Citizens for Tax Justice, Handgun Control, Act Now to Stop War and End Racism, Planned Parenthood, the Amerikan Civil Liberties Union, National Public Radio, and the New York Times? Wonder no more!

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

A
ACLU	The Amerikan Civil Liberties Union, primary defenders of the noble supremacy of “group rights” over mere individual rights.
Ad Hominem	The most popular and effective means of argumentation that we left-wingers excel at. Why bother with trying to prove a point when it’s so easy to personally attack an opponent?
Advantaged	Those lucky few whose parents secured obscene shares of our nation’s collective income and boastfully attribute it to their own hard work, while we leftists are committed to seizing their ill-gotten gains through the government apparatus and redistributing most of it amongst ourselves to administer welfare dependency schemes for the poor that demonstrate our profound compassion.
Advocacy	Journalism.
Alliance for Justice	Noteworthy leftist advocacy group that promotes the nomination and appointment of only certified left-wing judges for the federal judiciary.
Altruism	That which only we leftists use as motivation to institute our noble vision of egalitarian incomes and outcomes for all.
Amerikans for Democratic Action	Noble liberal organization that defends every leftist’s right to taxpayer largesse and preferential treatment by the government.
Amerikkkan Flag	A hated symbol of imperialism that some of us left-wingers enshroud ourselves with during elections, but gleefully burn at other times.
Anarchy	What would ensue without the firm, guiding hand of a leftist government.
ANSWER	Act Now to Stop War and End Racism, a commendable Marxist organization that is dedicated to the destruction of capitalist societies and right-wing government policies that refuse to offer preferential treatment to our favorite minority groups.
Anti-trust Laws	Government’s big stick to beat profit making capitalists who have gotten a little too good at serving their customers with low priced goods or services that unfairly hurt their disadvantaged, less profitable competition.
Appeasement	A hostile Republican characterization of our leftist brand of diplomacy, which is the Democratic Party’s official, unstated foreign policy toward any left-wing dictator or terrorist organization that threatens Amerikkka.
Artisan	A craftsperson who should be guaranteed a taxpayer-funded existence if his or her work reflects the glory of leftist values and the omnipotent socialist state.
Atomism	Rugged individualism that has not yet been properly straight-jacketed by our noble, omnipotent collectivism. Who is the individual to resist our call for subjugation and complete submission to the socialist state?
Attack Machine	Any right-wing agents who have the nerve to defend themselves and their ideology from our brilliant, ceaseless misrepresentations, ridicule, and ad hominem criticisms.
Authority	What to question, except when exercised by a leftist.
B
Bad	There is no such thing outside of the right-wing ideologies.
Bald Assertion	One of our favorite leftist forms of argument.
Big Government	A term extremist right-wingers use to demean our federal social programmes that curtail chaotic economic and personal interactions so that we may impose blanket conformity to our elite leftist values.
Bigot	Anyone who disagrees with special rights and entitlements for our politically-favored minority groups, i.e., a right-wing ideologue.
bin Laden, Osama	An oppressed victim of the imperialistic policies of our nation whose influence we have created with such aggressive actions. We shouldn’t mess with him and his al Qaida organization because we’re likely to make them angrier, and they also happen to be strong supporters of the Democratic Party in its valiant attempt to defeat the hated Republicans.
Blame	What belongs to all the right-wingers of the world, who have made all leftists and the poor, tribal cultures of the world feel bad with the excess wealth and happiness they enjoy in their opulent capitalist societies.
Bourgeoisie	The class of rich capitalists who used vile methods such as “free trade”, advertising, and inheritance to steal obscene shares of the national wealth that belongs equally to each one of us. The only good bourgeois is a dead one!
Budget Deficit	If it occurs under a right-wing administration, it is a deadly situation that threatens our critical social programmes and will lead to economic ruin. If it occurs under a left-wing administration, it is a trivial shortfall that no one should be the least bit concerned about. In any case, the solution is always to raise taxes and never to restrict government spending (except for the military).
Bureaucrat	A derogatory term for a public servant working “in the trenches” to rescue our society from the ravages of all those chaotic activities not directed by government central planners.
Bush, George H. W.	The original Great Satan.
Bush, George W.	Satan. He came as “a uniter, not a divider”, but he has certainly been an extreme divider because he refused to adopt our socialist agenda. We leftists hate this idiot!
C
Campaign Finance Reform	Our clever way of shifting campaign funding from direct payments from our billionaire supporters to billionaire-funded, third-party, secretly partisan “527” interest groups that still do the Democratic Party’s bidding.
Capitalism	The inherently barbaric system of survival of the fittest, invented and perpetrated by greedy, aggressive white males who seize what really belongs equally to all of us through unscrupulous “voluntary” transactions. This unjust system must be crushed by the proletarian boot of our noble Marxist state!
Castro, Fidel	Renowned, enlightened dictator of the Cuban proletariat, whose good, tireless work in starving capitalism in any form is greatly admired by us leftists.
Cato Institute	A pathetic libertarian think tank that employs mere reason to unfairly criticize the sublime collectivist state.
Censorship	Right-wing curtailment of left-wing free expression. Note that left-wing curtailment of right-wing expression is not censorship, but socially necessary restriction of inflammatory hate speech.
Centrist	Every leftist who is at least slightly to the right of Stalin.
Charity	Any leftist government institution, which fulfills its altruistic role in seizing the ill-gotten gains of greedy capitalists to benefit all the needy bureaucrats and their completely helpless wards who depend on this bounty, without which they would perish in the dehumanizing capitalistic jungle. Note that private charities are really lame, right-wing excuses for the real charity that can only be brought to us by government.
Chicken Hawk	The name we like to give right-wing political figures who favor hawkish, imperialistic policies, but failed to actually engage in military combat. Even though we leftists detest the military (except when they enforce our humanitarian edicts against capitalists), we like to boast about Democratic candidates that fought in wars so that we can impress the ignorant masses who actually like the military and make them believe that combat experience is a prerequisite for political leadership during wartime.
Christ, Jesus	A pre-Marxist, fictional figure who preached the importance of self-immolation, vowing to live in poverty, and sacrificing ourselves to the wants of the needy. This figure has been used by right-wingers to prop up their hateful, racist, capitalist systems that demand moral accountability from individuals instead of allowing the Marxist state to determine and enforce all of society’s values.
Citizens for Tax Justice	Marxist organization that is dedicated to confiscating all the profits that the malevolent, rich bourgeois class has stolen from the poor in capitalistic transactions, so that we can fund all of our wondrous social programmes.
Civil Rights	The hallowed concept of the equal rights for government-classified minorities to gain special privileges and entitlements at the expense of straight white males.
Class	A collective grouping that we are each assigned to, based on the rigid, predetermined, inherent socioeconomic status we were born into and stuck with forever under the capitalistic system. We can only change classes through government action by the socialist state, not by any myths of “hard work”, “acquiring advanced skills”, or “upward mobility” that capitalists claim are possible in a “free” society.
Clinton, Bill	Centrist humanitarian and closet socialist, whose upstanding image was unjustly tarnished by the vast right-wing conspiracy.
Clinton, Hillary	Centrist future president and patron saint of left-wing feminists who has brought our cherished Marxist ideals into the mainstream.
Club	Any private organization predominantly made up of straight white males that has the gall to claim rights of “free association”, when we all must follow the dictates of our betters and intermingle based on an awe-inspiring, preplanned formula of multicultural diversity. Clubs such as the Boy Scouts are front organizations for homophobic, right-wing racists that do such detestable things as refuse to allow gay men to lead troops of young boys into the woods. An example of a noble left-wing club that is defended by our trusty ACLU is the North Amerikan Man-Boy Love Association, which only seeks free speech protection for men assisting young boys in discovering their untapped gay side.
Coercion	Advertising, talk-radio, or any other form of right-wing persuasion.
Color-blind	This really means that color must be taken into account and racial minorities must get preferential government treatment over the predominant straight white males to rectify all the horrendous hate crimes, hate speech, and hate thoughts they continue to perpetrate against people of color on a daily basis. Racist, divisive right-wingers try to use this term against us leftists by insisting that government treatment of individuals should be objective and not be based on their skin color. As usual, we know better!
Communism	The ultimate utopian society where all the greedy capitalists are in chains or dead and the workers rejoice over their equalized share of pay that is in no way dependent on something as trivial or unjust as “merit”.
Compassion	The special feeling only we elite leftists are capable of expressing, when we demand that our grand schemes of wealth redistribution be enacted to save the poor victims of capitalism from continued exploitation and certain starvation, to keep them safe as wards of the welfare state from cradle to grave.
Competition	What aggressive right-wingers are all about. This horrid concept leaves out many of us leftists, who bless the world with our heavy social conscience, but do not burden the world with crass productivity or ideas that the uninformed masses actually want or would be willing to pay for “voluntarily”.
Conservation	Protecting our natural resources from the ignorant right-wing masses who exploit and despoil it, for future generations of leftists to control and use in environmentally friendly ways.
Conservative	A heartless, ruthless villain who seeks to impose a system of capitalistic imperialism and social injustice by stripping government of its Marx-given power to guarantee equal outcomes and utopia for all.
Conservativism	The evil ideology dedicated to social injustice, unbridled capitalism, the pursuit of wealth, materialism, imperialism, and oppression of the poor and minority classes through the tyranny of “liberty”.
Constitution	A living, breathing document that is open to be interpreted in just about any way, as long as it is a leftist interpretation.
Cooperation	This is only present when a government forces the populace to submit to our higher leftist political agenda. Acts of “voluntary” cooperation, including such tainted activities as “free market” exchanges or private charities usurping government’s proper role, are contradictions that undermine true cooperation.
Cost of Tax Cuts	Clever concept designed by us leftists to make people believe that the failure to forcibly extract more income from taxpayers results in stealing income from the poor to pay to the rich and imposes added burdens on the government.
Criminal	A harsh, unfair term applied to an oppressed victim of a capitalist society who has no choice but to try to procure his fair share of society’s national resources himself - when his government is unjustly prevented by right-wing extremists from doing it for him.
Crusade	This is our cause of fighting “the good fight” to bring capitalistic straight white males to their knees and worship at the altar of Karl Marx, along with us righteous left-wingers.
Cuba	Noble communist nation that we leftists seek to make Amerikkka exactly like.
Cut and Run	The Republican’s unfriendly assessment applied when the Democratic Party’s foreign policy wisely recommends a hasty retreat after the first politically-significant casualties.
D
Death Penalty	A barbaric form of punishment used to stifle the justified aims of the oppressed, who were unfairly denied their fair distribution of wealth and love. See Criminal.
Debs, Eugene	Mainstream Amerikan socialist whose brilliant career spanned the 19th and 20th centuries.
Democracy	The process in which leftists are duly elected by any means necessary (e.g., rewarding homeless or Native Amerikan votes with cigarettes or money, setting the news agenda for the media, forging documents to smear right-wingers, having operatives camp out in polling places, getting out the cemetery vote, fixing the election laws through the judicial apparatus, demanding recounts until the outcome is favorable, etc.), to run governments in the socialist way they ought to be run.
Democrat	A noble crusader and anointed saint in the War on Poverty who cleverly maintains political office by effectively disguising his or her true Marxist agenda from the unsophisticated electorate.
Democratic Party	Gallant organization that is forced to hide its unyielding dedication to enforcing “from each according to his abilities to each according to his needs” and other principles of Karl Marx because the mass populace is too stupid and ignorant to understand.
Diplomacy	Exercising wisdom by offering concessions in the face of a threat and knowing when it’s time to demonstrate unconditional love, peace, and acquiescence under a severe danger.
Disadvantaged	Those unlucky masses whose parents have been denied a healthy living wage by greedy capitalists who heartlessly demand actual productivity in return for paychecks. We leftists are sensitive to their plight and will never waiver in our commitment to increase the power and numbers of the disadvantaged so that we can continue to speak for them and count on them for their votes.
Disney	An example of why all corporations are not necessarily evil. Their embrace of diversity, multiculturalism, and left-wing causes makes us proud.
Diversity	Stacking each public setting with enough leftists of multiple ethnic backgrounds to control the direction of every organization. A member of one of our favored minorities who is not a leftist is the most reprehensible form of traitor who must be silenced and crushed!
Dog	This could be a good or bad term, depending on context. Underdogs are the poor, oppressed masses who our policies permanently serve and protect with fixed incomes, while dog-eat-dogs are greedy capitalists who wield evil powers like advertising and marketing to extract their ill-gotten gains from the constantly helpless and pathetic underdogs.
Do-gooder	A term that right-wingers attempt to smear us leftists with, but which we know we all truly are, with our grand designs to bankrupt the wealthy classes to maintain a large, growing, noble, dependent class that shouldn’t have to work for a living.
Domestic Partner Benefits	Employer-funded benefits which promote the gay/lesbian lifestyle and should be made mandatory by government.
Domestic Violence	Any action, gesture, word, or thought considered harmful by a whyman or minority that was perpetrated by a white male expressing his phallic dominance in our patriarchal society.
Downtrodden	Those who have been victimized by the “free market” system, which has the gall to base the size of paychecks on the productive value a worker has to the organization. We leftists are proud to have instituted a New Deal and paradigm where no one has to do anything productive or efficient to receive high wages and benefits. We call it the public sector and unionized jobs.
Draft	A necessary obligation of every citizen to submit to, especially since it will increase participation in our leftist ideal of national service for our high-minded social programmes, generate antipathy from young people who we are using as political pawns, and arouse a lot of rebellion from anti-war activists against participating in any military conflicts that we and our media associates deem non-humanitarian. The very idea of “voluntary” military service is abhorrent to us and encourages the sort of individualistic, independent-minded, anti-communist attitudes we despise.
E
Earn	A disgusting concept of merit invented by hard-hearted right-wingers.
Economic Growth	The transcendental process of transferring wealth from the private sector to the public sector, which puts the funds to much better use in wondrous state spending schemes. This generates prosperity for all government and union workers, while increasing every model citizen’s incentive to work hard for the benefit of the glorious welfare state and its beneficiaries instead of merely wasting one’s efforts on materialistic, selfish individual pursuits of a better life.
Economics	The science that is justly charged with proving that massive government intervention in the “free market” and every conceivable leftist wealth redistribution scheme will lead to the right kind of spending and greater societal gains than allowing citizens to selfishly keep the “fruits of their own labor”.
Egalitarian	Every liberal. Although we say that all we want is government to help the needy survive, we all know that nothing less than government-enforced equal pay and equal outcomes in life for all will ever satisfy us. In the name of fairness, let’s bring everyone’s income down to the same level that the state can afford to pay us for our national service. Ban affluence now!
Egoism	The selfish, pathetic theories of Ayn Rand and other vicious, hateful libertarians who seek to impose the chaos of liberty on all of us, when we rightfully should be lovingly nurtured from cradle to grave as comforted wards of the welfare state.
Elite	This term is sometimes used to criticize omniscient leftist leaders, who truly know best how to spend the national resources and mold the citizenry.
Elitist	This is something that we benevolent leftist intellectuals are unfairly criticized as being, especially because we know we really are better than our right-wing opponents and the ignorant slime that support them.
Emotions	What guides our superior ideals instead of mere reason, which plagues the hollow right-wing ideologies.
Empathy	Showing how much we leftists care by keeping the poor empowered through dependency on the state from cradle to grave.
Energy Crisis	What our leftist policies create in an effort for us to acquire greater control of the energy industry. A few of us have figured out that tight government control of an economic good or service leads to a shortage and higher prices, which we use as a rationalization to gain further control of that good or service. Aren’t we leftists so clever?
Enron	The corporate swindlers who took all of their shareholders’ money. Even though they contributed to Al Gore’s presidential run and many other Democratic politicians’ campaigns, the fact that they contributed some money to the Bush campaign is all the proof we need to blame him for this entire scandal.
Entitlement	This term accurately describes our crusade to right past wrongs by making government treat the disadvantaged more equally than the advantaged, but those heartless right-wingers have successfully made this a disreputable term. So now we use euphemisms like reparations, social justice, and equality to place all the blame on the right-wing and better hide the fact that we are still calling for entitlements.
Environment	The natural ecosystems around us, which all human beings, except for us environmental stewards of the left, must be kept off of.
Environmentalism	Our leftist way to destroy capitalist economies in developed countries, while keeping undeveloped countries in their pristine, ecologically vibrant, economically stagnant place so that their tribal way of life is preserved and our vacations for tromping around these natural areas will remain affordable.
Envy	The unkind motivation that greedy, rich right-wingers sometimes attribute to us profoundly compassionate left-wingers, who only long to see them systematically cut down to size, relieved of their wealth, and crushed under the proletarian boot of the socialist state.
Equal Opportunity	We know that this principle really means government preferences for our favorite downtrodden minorities, but those nasty right-wingers falsely claim that it provides no guaranteed outcomes for minorities and requires that government treat everyone equally before the law.
Ethics	Any means employed in the exercise of complete dedication to the utopian left-wing crusade.
Exploitation	Any “voluntary” exchange that is not sanctioned by a leftist government.
Extremist	Anyone to the right of Bill Clinton, our famous centrist and closet socialist.
F
Fact	Left-wing opinion.
Fairness	This occurs whenever our leftist values are forced on everyone or egalitarian incomes and outcomes are guaranteed for all, except perhaps for us elite leftist do-gooders who deserve an extra cut of the collective wealth for our altruistic efforts.
Fallacy	An effective means of argument we leftists often employ.
Families	Centrally unplanned associations that must be treated differently by government, based on how well they promote the socialist state’s values. The types of parental unions recognized by the state, in order of the preferential policies they warrant, include: 1) same-sex unions; 2) unions involving at least one minority; 3) unions considered living in poverty; 4) unions that are dependent on any type of government assistance; 5) straight-white, self-supporting unions that are above the poverty line (as we define it).
Family Values	This term was co-opted by those evil conservatives, but we have redefined it to mean our beloved Marxist, multicultural, and gay/lesbian/transgendered values.
Fascist	Every member of the right-wing who refuses to support the noble right of the state to exercise whatever force is necessary to seize the wealth and property of the white capitalistic businessmen who have taken more than their fair share of the national resources.
FDR	Franklin Delano Roosevelt, one of the greatest Amerikan presidents, who is famous for implementing the grand, socialist New Deal that created the noble pyramid scheme called Social Security and a legacy of dependency of senior citizens on the federal government.
Federal Judiciary	That branch of the federal government that must be kept in leftist hands by any means necessary.
Felons	Oppressed victims of capitalism who also are a reliable Democratic Party voting bloc.
Feminism	The movement that cites the historical domination of males over females in society and justifiably redresses these grievances by enforcing female domination of males in society.
Feminist	A noble advocate of resistance against our white-male-dominated, patriarchal society who demands higher pay based on sex, race, and adhesion to leftist family values, instead of actual performance.
Filibuster	When Republicans use this tactic, it is a dishonorable attempt to subvert the Senate majority’s will. When Democrats use it, it is a just practice of blocking the evil right-wing agenda that the Senate majority is too stupid and corrupt to recognize the pitfalls of.
Fiscal Conservative	A fair-minded liberal who seeks to balance budgets - never through non-military spending reductions - but only through higher taxes.
Foreign Aid	What should be bestowed on all “Third World” leftist governments, instead of capitalistic Globalization that displaces impoverished cultures from their tribal, collectivist roots and bribes them with materialistic opportunities that would unnervingly give them a higher standard of living at the expense of their cultural sensibilities.
Fox News	That abhorrent, right-wing-biased cable news network that boasts of “fair and balanced” reporting that stoops to avoiding the truly balanced leftist interpretation of news stories that all the other television news channels proudly grace the airwaves with.
Franken, Al	Witty former Saturday Night Live writer/actor who backs up all his powerful, highly intellectual arguments with name-calling and sophomoric ridicule.
Free Lunch	The right-wing concept that callously demeans our leftist quest to selflessly crusade for the fundamental human right of the disadvantaged and their standard-bearers to get something for nothing.
Free Market	The laissez-faire system that makes the lucky few get a much bigger piece of their share of the national pie at the expense of the poor, starving, downtrodden working class who are exploited by them because they are unfairly not given as much money to perform their vital manual tasks as the “highly-skilled” capitalist profiteers.
Free Speech	The fundamental right to express left-wing truths. Note that any right-wing expression is inflammatory hate speech that must be stifled.
Free Trade	An unfair economic system that allows a rich Aristocratic class to exploit the poor through the coercion and bribery of “voluntary” transactions.
Free Will	The absurd notion that our choices and decisions are not ultimately guided by our environment, our class, and our genes. This right-wing concept supports the completely baseless assertions that one is responsible for one’s own actions and one can actually improve one’s life in a capitalist system without government aid.
Freedom	This is the power to achieve a positive outcome or to avoid an undesirable outcome. Conservatives and libertarians like to lay claim to the term and dangerously assert that it requires “laissez-faire” policies and provides no guarantees, but we know that only government can ensure true freedom through its grand dominion over humankind and whatever national resources they create.
Free-Rider	Another negative term used against beneficiaries of our egalitarian wealth distribution schemes. This term falsely implies that such beneficiaries are capable of working for a living in the harsh, cruel capitalistic system.
Fundamentalism, Christian	The hateful scourge that is largely responsible for our white-male-dominated, patriarchal society.
Fundamentalism, Islamic	The religion of poor, oppressed, victims of bigotry who are unfairly vilified for justifiably defending themselves against our malicious, imperialistic society.
G
Galbraith, John Kenneth	Brilliant leftist economist who practiced Keynesian economics to rationalize the economic turmoil generated by the wealth redistributionist policies of the welfare state in pursuit of our utopian ends.
Gay Marriage	The sacrosanct union between same-sex couples that is the cornerstone of a liberal society.
Gay/Lesbian	A persecuted, large minority who deserves preferential treatment by our government.
Giuliani, Rudolph	Evil George W. Bush clone who is an enemy of peace, social justice, socialized medicine, and our socialist dream.
Glass Ceiling	That which angry, white males have conspired to erect to keep females from attaining corporate positions of authority. The only possible explanation for the lack of female executives in capitalistic societies is sexist discrimination. Right-wing explanations of “priorities of starting and raising a family”, “not wanting to work excessive hours”, or “not wanting a position that rewards aggression and emotional detachment” have nothing to do with this injustice that we leftists know can only be rectified with state intervention.
Global Warming	Our widely heralded ½° C per 100 years trump card to bring the vile capitalistic system to its knees.
Globalization	The hated process of exploitation by greedy capitalists who ruin primitive, tribal cultures by bribing them with low-paying jobs that audaciously improve their standard of living.
God	There is none, except in a figurative sense. See Marx, Karl.
Good	There is no such thing outside of the left-wing ideologies.
Goose That Laid The Golden Egg	What our leftist policies, when fully implemented, can’t help but kill and that’s our ultimate goal!
Gore, Al	2000 Democratic presidential candidate who had the election stolen from him by hostile, unruly Republicans who blocked his righteous attempts to get the Florida Supreme Court to rewrite repressive Florida election laws.
Government	Ruling body responsible for setting the direction for a society. When we control it, it is a grand, masterful body that guarantees equal access to utopia for all who embrace the Marxist dream. When the evil conservatives control it, it is an instrument of destruction that oppresses and exploits the poor masses for the sole benefit of the rich, capitalistic masters who bribe them with paychecks to keep them from chasing the Amerikan welfare dream.
Government Programmes	The only means through which human beings can create a heaven on earth.
Great Society	LBJ’s noble welfare state programmes of the ‘60s that encouraged the pure beauty of single motherhood and enabled the disadvantaged to procure guaranteed dependency and incomes extracted from taxpayers without having to work for it.
Greed	The selfish motivation of all who succeed under capitalism, as opposed to the strictly benevolent motives of left-wingers who aspire to political power.
Green Party	A highly-praised socialist party that advocates the abolition of property rights to give us leftists complete control of the environment, the collective income, and other national resources.
Gridlock	The illegitimate practice Republicans engage in to block our Marxist schemes. When we leftists use every means to block right-wing bills or nominations, this is social justice in action!
Guilt	That which all white males and any who succeed in a “free enterprise” system must be forced to bear. We leftists accept our guilt for having that which others do not have, but the callous right-wingers seem to feel no remorse for their acquisition of obscene shares of the national income.
Gun	That which should be held culpable in any crime in which it was used. This is why private ownership of them must be banned.
Gun Control	This is every good leftist’s aim, to secure and maintain a government monopoly on firearms and the legal use of force needed to instill our high-minded policies in every citizen.
H
Hall, Gus	Mainstream Amerikan communist of the 20th century.
Halliburton	That all-purpose corporate whipping boy we had fun accusing the Bush administration of always conspiring with and pandering to, with no need for any proof of our allegations beyond Dick Cheney’s past ties to them.
Handgun Control	Noble organization that aims to disarm all citizens to prevent them from shooting a victim of society who might understandably take it upon himself to expropriate some of his share of the national income that was denied by hateful right-wingers. Private ownership of all hand guns, which are responsible for most hate crimes in Amerikkka, must be banned!
Hard Money	This describes the crass private contributions that fund campaigns, which the Republicans somehow manage to convince people to do “voluntarily” (see Coercion), while we Democrats rely more on the noble methods of public funding, foreign gifts, and soft money contributions by our billionaire bankrollers.
Harrington, Michael	The patron saint of the welfare state.
Hate	That which only right-wingers experience and use as motivation to support their oppressive libertarian beliefs.
Hate Crime	Any action, gesture, word, or thought used by a white male or right-winger against a classified minority, whyman, or leftist.
Hate Speech	Right-wing opinion. Any word uttered by a white male or right-winger to a government-classified minority, whyman, or leftist.
Head Start	The praiseworthy programme that was developed to give leftist-favored minorities “a leg up” on whites and provide more jobs, power, and income to our highly valued teachers’ unions.
Health Care Crisis	What our leftist policies create in an effort for us to acquire greater control of the health care industry. A few of us have figured out that tight government control of an economic good or service leads to a shortage and higher prices, which we use as a rationalization to gain further control of that good or service. Aren’t we leftists so clever?
Heart	What only true leftists possess.
Heartless	What anyone who doesn’t support our grand welfare state is.
Heterosexual	Any white, right-wing male who considers himself this is a hateful homophobe.
Hitler, Adolph	The Nazi leader who some of us leftists love to claim invented capitalism and the right-wing. Note that it’s important for us to deny that “Nazi” really means National Socialist, which would dangerously explain why Hitler and Stalin were two peas from the same pod.
Hollywood	A primary source of funding and propaganda for our divine leftist cause.
Homeless	Our politically motivated leftist euphemism for what were formerly known as “vagrants” or “skid-row bums”. These people are completely helpless, and greedy capitalists are solely to blame for their predicament.
Homosexual	Any right-winger who uses this term instead of “gay”, “lesbian”, and “transgendered” is a hateful homophobe.
Hood, Robin	Fictional hero who we leftists try to emulate by stealing from those who have to give to those who do not. What a great way to undermine the evil capitalist system - by removing all incentives to work, save, and invest for a better life!
Human Rights	The foundation of civilized society that requires government force to override any individual rights to serve the well-meaning, paramount collectivist ends of the socialist state.
Humanitarian	This describes all of our leftist causes, which are intended to keep the disadvantaged classes free from the burden of having to work for a living or think for themselves, when we leftists can altruistically provide for them with the endless funds we extract from the greedy capitalists and can unburden them from having to decide what is or is not for their own good.
Hussein, Saddam	A benevolent socialist dictator and helpless victim of the two Bushes. He deserved praise and diplomacy instead of unilateral imperialism.
I
Idealist	A left-winger who romanticizes about implementing Marx’s dream of a worker’s paradise for all those with seniority, while resting assured with the Marxist theory that the longer one takes in completing a task, the greater the value it has to society.
Imperialism	Right-wing foreign policy that arrogantly puts national defense against foreign threats above humbly submitting to the dictates of the United Nations.
Incentive	The motivation to selflessly keep churning out productivity and generating wealth that is tapped by the state to fund all of the fabulous, crucial welfare programmes on which the future of civilization rests.
Individual	That which must be justly sacrificed for the good of the collective.
Indoctrination	This is what all right-wing organizations and Christian religions practice. Note that this is not what our fine government-run education system and leftist-controlled media expertly employ to mold the citizenry into becoming our dupes.
Industrial Revolution	The worst activities of the 19th century that started the horrible capitalistic cycle of greed, exploitation, and crass, selfish pursuits of happiness and a higher standard of living for oneself and one’s family.
Intellectual	Every left-winger. No right-winger can be a true intellectual because of their ill motives, defects in character, disturbed psychology, and/or abject stupidity (see Ad Hominem).
It’s a Wonderful Life	Grand movie from which many of us liberals have received our entire education on economics.
Ivory Tower	The right-wing smear on our elite leftist intellect and superior values that can’t help us from looking down on them and admitting that we always know best!
J
Jackson, Jesse	Righteous Afrikan Amerikan who believes that the only way for his race to survive is at the receiving end of liberal government handouts and special treatment.
Johnson, Lyndon Baines	Progressive Amerikan President who admirably created the Great Society Welfare State programmes.
Jong Il, Kim	Noble offspring of another Marxist dictator whose efforts to imprison, starve, or execute all capitalist dissenters impresses the socks off us leftists. He showed us he means business and any blackmail threats he makes toward our nation should always be met with unconditional acquiescence.
Journalism	Advocacy.
Judicial Activist	While this term was originally conjured up by the right wing to use against us leftists, we have redefined the term to mean one who is a narrow-minded right-wing extremist that is unimaginative enough to interpret the constitution literally.
Judicial System	The easiest way for us leftists to perform an “end run” around the executive branch, the legislative branch, and the Constitution’s original intent. With federal judges serving lifetime appointments, this allows leftist judges to proudly demonstrate their true beliefs without any political consequences that an elected official would face. We must all do our part to win presidential elections at all costs so that we can continue to pack the federal judiciary with judges who pass an exacting left-wing litmus test.
K
Kerry, John	Liberal nobleman of the Amerikan Senate who was cheated of his chance to advance our Marxist cause by supporters of the hated George W. Bush.
Keynes, John Maynard	Renowned “demand-side” economist who came up with the brilliant idea that government tricks like colossal spending increases and expansion of the money supply lead to prosperity for all recipients of government largesse. His policies create higher inflation and wreak economic havoc for the capitalists, which lead to further dependency on the government and whet our insatiable appetites for even further government control of the economy!
Krugman, Paul	Creative economist who appropriately uses his immense skills in misrepresenting opponents' arguments for the noble cause of worldwide socialism.
Ku Klux Klan	The racist organization that every right-winger is a member of, whether they admit it or not. A belief in the right-wing conception of “color-blindness” proves that one belongs to the KKK, which is how we derived the term “Amerikkka”. We are indeed quite clever, aren’t we?
L
LaRouche, Lyndon	Mainstream Amerikan Democrat.
Law	That which we leftists rightfully make, oft times from the judicial bench. Laws established by right-wingers are inherently unjust and exploitative.
LBJ	Lyndon Baines Johnson, founder of the revered “Great Society” programmes, without which most Democrats would have no jobs or income.
Left-Wing	Good in its purest form. See Mainstream.
Lenin, Vladimir	Noble implementer of the “Red Terror” to make those greedy capitalists pay for their sins with their lives.
Liberal	Any good person who justly advocates complete subjugation of the individual and the family to the omnipotent socialist state.
Liberalism	Our euphemism for socialism, intended to make it a little more palatable to the abject, uninformed masses. Unfortunately, right-wingers have successfully attached negative connotations to this term, so we now prefer “Progressivism”.
Libertarianism	The vile philosophy that denies the left-wing tenet that the poor cannot possibly survive without government forcibly extracting the ill-gotten incomes of the advantaged to distribute to the always helpless and pathetic disadvantaged.
Liberty	Freedom. The only liberties that matter are the liberties we take with everyone’s “private” wealth and property to fund our noble public schemes.
Limbaugh, Rush	Big, fat idiot and spokesman for the vast, right-wing conspiracy.
Limousine Liberal	A hateful term invented by right-wing persecutors to unfairly demean the altruistic, philanthropic benefactors who use completely legal campaign contributions and tax shelters to fund our Marxist revolution.
Living Wage	The minimum amount that every welfare recipient must be given to guarantee cradle-to-grave dependency on our grand, leftist programmes and give us the votes we need to maintain our political power.
Love	What we liberals are all about. That’s why we want the government to take care of us and ensure the same outcome for everyone, regardless of our differing talents, efforts, or actual accomplishments.
Luck	Along with theft of national resources that belong to us all and coercion, how the advantaged achieve all their ill-gotten gains in a capitalistic system.
Luddite	A noble member of the working class who just wants to turn back the technology clock to the glorious Middle Ages. This is also what conservatives snidely call us when we say we want to undo the Industrial Revolution.
M
Mainstream	All of our Marxist, pro-criminal, pro-union, pro-trial lawyer, pro-minority, pro-abortion, and anti-responsibility values.
Majority	The conglomeration of left-wing minority caucuses that increasingly outnumber the right-wing extremists who disenfranchise them and use intimidation to prevent most of them from voting.
Managed Care	Our euphemism for socialized medicine, which has so surprisingly developed negative connotations over the years.
Mandate of the People	This occurs whenever a leftist candidate wins an election, regardless of whether a majority of the population voted for him or her. When right-wing candidates win elections, this is a travesty that is always against the will of the people and must be challenged and fought with every possible means.
Marx, Karl	The closest thing we leftists have to a religious figure. He was responsible for the “Communist Manifesto” and the entire Democratic Party platform. Where would today’s Progressive be without his envy-fueled rationalizations for wealth redistribution, class warfare, trade unionism, nationalization of all private enterprise, collectivism, and a labor theory of value based on the time spent on a project rather than what people judge the end product to be worth? This man is our god.
Materialism	The crass, individualistic pursuit of happiness, which runs completely counter to our leftist ideals of altruistic, egalitarian outcomes for all.
McCain, John	Right-wing extremist Bush lackey who dared to run for Amerikan President as a Republican moderate!
Meanness	A trait of all Republicans, conservatives, libertarians, and other right-wingers who seek to dismantle our cherished welfare state programmes of dependency.
Media	The non-partisan establishment that promotes the noble, utopian ideals of Karl Marx and his supporters, while advancing the strategies of the Democratic Party without any prompting. To influence the unsophisticated public, the media must resort to elevating the importance of stories that advance the progressive cause of the left-wing, suppressing stories that reflect well on the right-wing, interpreting events to draw conclusions favorable to the left-wing, using innuendo and ad hominem to smear the right-wing, while denying that there is any left-wing bias in the media.
Men	Those who must be forced to bear the guilt of shamelessly oppressing and enslaving whymen to benefit their evil, capitalistic, imperialistic, and phallic desires.
Meritocracy	The evil system of capitalism, which heartlessly demands productive work in exchange for a paycheck, as opposed to the natural beauty of lifelong welfare for all who are willing to feed at the public trough and trade their independence for permanent membership in The Great Society.
Middle Class	The productive working majority that we leftists glorify and cater to during election seasons to win votes, even though we classify many of them as "the rich" or "the working poor" at other times to serve our immediate purposes.
Minority	A member of one of our favored groups who deserves preferential treatment by the state. A member of one of our favored minorities who is not a leftist is a traitor that must be silenced and crushed!
Moderate	Every leftist who is at least slightly to the right of Castro.
Money	The root of all evil, unless it is funneled into left-wing causes or is in the hands of government do-gooders.
Monopoly	The inevitable end result of “free market” competition. Only government can guarantee that consumers won’t have to face business monopolies, and comparing the deregulated airline industry to government-protected utilities proves that only government-managed competition benefits consumers and keeps them from facing monopolies.
Moore, Michael	Prominent, mainstream Marxist movie producer and propagandist who uses ad hominem, fiction, conspiracy theories, and other noble means to attack conservatives and their right-wing cronies.
Moral High Ground	Where we authoritarian leftists always stand, as opposed to the moral quagmire that you can find our “liberty-loving” right-wing opponents sinking in.
Moral Relativism	A term used by right-wingers to unfairly criticize our leftist U.N. view that no philosophy, culture, society, economic system, or form of government is morally superior to any other, unless, of course, it involves a socialist philosophy, government, or economic system, which we know are superior!
Morality	This term describes the unconscionable right-wing values that support harsh penalties against persecuted “criminal” victims of capitalism and Puritanism who are only seeking to grab their fair distribution of wealth and love.
Motives	That which must always be questioned about right-wingers instead of their actual logic and rational arguments. Leftist motives, on the other hand, are always pure, altruistic, and beyond reproach.
MoveOn.org	Mainstream, non-partisan organization that supports the Marxist cause and answers to the Democratic National Committee.
Multiculturalism	The belief in getting people of diverse ethnic backgrounds united for the cause of the omnipotent socialist state.
Multilateralism	Government actions that submit to the U.N. and the great socialist nation states of the world.
N
NAACP	The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, an unofficial wing of the Democratic Party and the primary organization that we leftists deem fit to represent the voice of Afrikan Amerikans through advocacy of preferential treatment policies. Any right-wing organizations that claim to speak for Afrikan Amerikans must be silenced by the force of law.
Nader, Ralph	Noble socialist and Democratic Party vote stealer who recognized that all goods produced by the capitalist system are inherently unsafe, unreliable, and unsanitary, while the goods of the socialist state are inherently trustworthy, pure, and everlasting.
National Public Radio	Our left-wing radio voice that is nobly funded in large part by taxpayer money.
National Resources	All of our material possessions and each one of us, which must be sacrificed for the greater good of the whole.
National Review	Venomous right-wing magazine that relies on mere reason to challenge the superior emotional ideals of the left.
National Service	Our leftist way of fully programming all of our young citizens to participate in our magnificent array of social programmes and make everyone realize that “we are all the state”.
Nationalize	The noble Marxist scheme to seize all private institutions and their assets to convert them into government institutions that are not beholden to tainted “profit motives” or serving their customers in any way other than that which feeds and expands the power of the socialist nation state!
Nature	The environment, completely unspoiled by man, but available collectively to us leftist environmental stewards to manage as we see fit.
Needy	Those who we publicly claim to be the target of all of our leftist policies, which they need to survive and keep them in a dependent, blissful state from cradle to grave. We are their sole voice and we are dedicated to increasing their power and numbers.
New Deal	This wonderful social experiment of statecraft led to the end of the chaotic era of people having to take responsibility for looking after themselves, instead turning their future over to comprehensive government programmes to extract their wealth and transfer it to bureaucrats in a majestic pyramid scheme.
New York Times	Our proud, leftist newspaper of record that spreads our propaganda from sea to shining sea.
North Korea	Noble communist nation that we leftists seek to make Amerikkka exactly like. Just compare the utopian worker’s paradise there to the corrupt, exploitative conditions in neighboring capitalistic South Korea to see how superior Marxism really is!
NRA	The evil, pro-gun National Rifle Association, which has the gall to support the anarchic individual right to self-defense, when the leftist state is the only qualified entity to wield assault weapons to seize the ill-gotten loot from capitalists to support our politically mandated incomes and protect us from the evils of capitalism.
O
Obama, Barack	Clever, smooth-talking, devout socialist of color who became the first Afrikan Amerikan President of Amerika.
Omissions as Acts	The basic left-wing principle which holds successful individuals responsible for the plight of the needy, who are where they are solely because the affluent did not give enough of their excess cash to the government to fund essential social programmes.
Opinion	Right-wing “fact”.
Oppression	Every act performed by a right-wing government.
P
Palin, Sarah	Moronic, right-wing extremist who dared to run for Amerikan Vice-President as a Whyman!
Parasite	The malicious term unfairly used to describe a beneficiary of our grand wealth redistribution system. Right-wingers are the real parasites because they get their ill-gotten gains from the proletariat, which does all the actual manual work for wages that we leftists never consider high enough.
Peace	The serene state of affairs when all right-wingers are enslaved, dead, or incarcerated.
People for the Amerikan Way	Proud socialist organization dedicated to ensuring that only leftist judges are appointed to the federal judiciary.
Persecution	What the oppressed foot soldiers of Marxism have endured at the hands of greedy, imperialistic capitalists who seek to deny them their special, government-enforced entitlements, subsidies, and other preferential treatment.
Planned Parenthood	Exemplary organization that upholds every whyman’s Marx-given right to infanticide.
Political Correctness	A hateful term invented by right-wingers to attack our just cause to promote the special advantages and entitlements our favorite minorities should get from government at the expense of the legions of angry, white males who accuse us of being politically correct. We are attempting to co-opt this term and redefine it as any questioning of the more unpopular aspects of our agenda.
Politics	The branch of philosophy involving government, which we leftists are uniquely qualified and anointed to control by any means necessary to achieve our utopian dream.
Poll	A survey with the inherent purpose of using confusing leading questions and loaded terms, tailored to a carefully preselected audience weighted toward the appropriate leftist bias to acquire desired, selectively interpreted results so that the proper leftist conclusions can be arrived at to influence the public to follow us leaders.
Pollution	The terrible dumping of toxic wastes, emission of greenhouse gases, and other deadly byproducts created only by the capitalistic system of greed. When similar consequences occur because of socialistic government activities, this is not pollution, but a noble, cost-conscious effort by compassionate central planners to care for their citizens with the limited national resources they have that are being greedily consumed by the capitalist countries.
Poor	Those helpless, pathetic masses for who all of our leftist policies are lovingly crafted to keep on lifelong public assistance and out of the workforce to keep them from needlessly competing with us for plum government jobs. We feel their pain, so we must keep them enmeshed in their public safety net from cradle to grave.
Pot, Pol	Admirable despot of the Cambodian Khmer Rouge government, who we leftists can’t help but admire for killing many capitalists in his day.
Poverty	What the lowest income recipients, who deserve lifelong entitlements and public assistance instead of the crass “upward mobility” offered to them by the capitalist system, live in. Why should they struggle to improve their lives and move to higher income brackets, as the vast majority of them do under capitalism while they are still young and mastering new skills, when they can receive a nice living wage that we leftists proudly seize from the sell-outs who have greedily moved up to higher income brackets?
Poverty Line	Something that we leftists are uniquely qualified to determine, especially since we can obtain more political capital and votes by grossly overestimating the numbers below it. Some of us are now tirelessly working to define all those lower middle class households with less than a $40,000 annual income, two cars, and a time-share condo in Florida as below the line.
Price Controls	What governments need to wield against the capitalist “free market” to ensure that any signals of actual producer supply and consumer demand are severely distorted and replaced by the dictates of leftist central planners, who know best what the public should value.
Private Education	That horrible system that out-competes our benevolent public schools and drains needed public dollars from them. If private schools weren’t so direly needed for us leftist elitists to send our own kids to, they should be banned!
Private Sector	What must be heavily taxed, regulated, and ultimately nationalized.
Privatization	Anti-social efforts by right-wingers to move the ultra-efficient administration of glorious government programmes to the depraved, greedy private sector. We have successfully attached enough negative connotations to this term to make many right-wingers use other terms, such as “open competition”, “school choice”, and “personal retirement accounts”.
Pro-choice	The fundamental, sacrosanct right to terminate unborn children at any point before (or sometimes at) delivery.
Profit	Crime. Every “voluntary” exchange is tainted by the coercion of advertising and the economic exploitation and fraud inherent in capitalistic transactions. The only good transactions occur at the point of a government gun and all greedy capitalistic institutions must eventually feel the crushing heel of the Marxist jackboot. The evil profit motive that fuels the capitalistic wealth generation machine must be eradicated!
Progressive	A believer in the tenet that the socialist state completely owns all property and we all are its natural resources, to be used and disposed of to serve its magnificent designs.
Proletariat	Noble members of the working class, whose voices and thoughts are violently suppressed by the greedy capitalists and can only be properly expressed by us leftist spokespersons or union bosses.
Pro-life	Those right-wingers who support killing adult human beings, especially doctors and whymen (and especially whymen doctors!), in order to preserve the worthless life of a fetus. After children are born, particularly after they turn 16, is a completely different story, as right-wingers act to dismantle the paternalistic welfare state that is responsible for our very survival. Aren’t we leftists brilliant and witty?
Proof	There is no such thing, except when it supports leftist conclusions.
Propaganda	Something that right-wingers resort to ineffectively, but which we are masters at to advance our righteous cause.
Property	The concept of personal ownership of what rightfully belongs to all of us, as administered by the collectivist state. This concept represents the most heinous crime on the planet.
Prosperity	Taking away all the excess wealth from greedy, productive capitalists and putting it in the hands of powerful, omniscient, leftist bureaucrats and politicians who masterfully use it on impressively large, wealth-consuming state programmes and top-down central economic planning schemes that rightfully stifle the ingenuity of egocentric technocrats, block the free flow of information conveyed through chaotic prices, and make everyone richer through increased dependency on the state.
Protectionist	What leftists must unfortunately stoop to being as long as capitalism is allowed to survive in this world.
Psychiatric Illnesses	An ever-increasing list of maladies that are the result of real medical diseases, some of which are inherited. Such illnesses include an assortment of what some consider mental or emotional problems and addiction to substances such as alcohol, nicotine, or drugs. One illness leftist psychiatrists are working hard to define is the mental illness that causes some to adopt right-wing ideologies. We leftists treat such ailments with compassionate treatments such as incarceration, forced ingestion of neuroleptic drugs, electroshock therapy, and lobotomy. Some right-wingers have the nerve to claim that there is no unifiable, underlying physiological cause for any of these illnesses that has been identified and some of these illnesses are psychological or volitional. But we feel better when we can control and dispense treatment to our helpless wards, and the mentally ill right-wingers must not be allowed to stop us!
Public Education	The altruistic system in which greedy taxpayers are made to pay a high price for our invaluable, unionized state teachers, who selflessly program them and their children to adopt our noble leftist causes and shun any skills useful to the hated capitalistic system, so that they become dependent on further government aid to make a living and vote for Democrats.
Public Housing	The totally free way to pack our wards of the state into suitable shelters where they can live off “the fat of the land” with our compassionate welfare payments and are free to engage in drug dealing, prostitution, gang violence, and other productive pursuits.
Public Sector	What all organizations should belong to.
Public Transportation	What must be forced on everyone to utilize instead of the self-serving automobiles that clog our thoroughfares and emit the deadly CO2 that destroys our precious environment.
Q
Quagmire	Any military engagement that is headed by a Republican administration. When Democrats direct a military engagement, this is always a humanitarian effort to save disadvantaged foreigners from greedy, imperialistic capitalists.
R
Racism	An accurate description of all of those favored policies of right-wingers which prevent any people of color from advancing in their professions. Because we leftists assert that all members of minority races that achieve prominent positions in society have done so solely because of government policies of preferential treatment, this is all the circular proof we need to show that all of those minority members who haven’t achieved such positions are necessarily victims of racism. Our intellect is truly dazzling!
Racist	Anyone who disagrees with special rights and entitlements for politically-favored ethnic groups, i.e., a right-wing ideologue.
Radical	A term invented by the evil conservatives to unfairly portray the mainstream ideals of the grand Marxist experiment as “extremist”.
Reagan, Ronald	Merciless, stupid tyrant who presided over the “Decade of Greed”.
Red	Our favorite color, especially since it becomes pink in lighter shades. In spite of this, our media friends carefully hide the logical communist connotations by refusing to label the Democrat-won states in presidential elections as red.
Regressive	All the policies of conservatives and libertarians, which would turn the clock back to a sordid age when people took responsibility for themselves and government did not make all of their important decisions for them.
Rehabilitation	Funding the self-improvement efforts of the victims of society who have been unfairly labeled as “criminals”, as if they were responsible for their actions and should be held accountable.
Religion	Idiotic fantasy that should be looked down upon by us leftist intellectuals. Religious institutions are also to blame for promoting folklore that undermines the almighty socialist state.
Reparations	What is rightfully owed by the guilty white males to every person of color because of the injustices that some of their ancestors committed. Just because the original victims and perpetrators are long deceased is no valid reason to ignore the legacy of racism that continues to prevent Afrikan Amerikans from getting all the special advantages they now deserve at the expense of the white bigots.
Republican	A bigoted, cruel, homophobic moron who is blinded by the brilliant light shined by Karl Marx.
Republican Party	The party of greedy capitalists who have the gall to hang on to the income they unjustly acquired through productive activity and “voluntary” exchange, when we leftists are in desperate need of it to furnish our noble, ever-expanding welfare state.
Responsibility	A barbaric concept that victimizes so-called “criminals”, who only act to seize what is rightfully theirs when the state is prevented by heartless right-wingers to act on the victims’ behalf.
Rich	All of those greedy, money-grubbing households pulling in obscene annual incomes of six figures or more, with the top 50% wage earners paying only 96% of all federal income taxes collected in Amerikkka. These fat cats must be taxed back into the Stone Age to pay for all of our grand welfare state programmes!
Rigged Election	What George W. Bush successfully executed in 2004 in Ohio and in 2000 in Florida with the help of the extremist right-wing Supreme Court, as opposed to the praiseworthy efforts of Al Gore and the Florida Supreme Court to rewrite Florida laws and count spoiled ballots as votes. When we leftists turn out the cemetery vote or bribe the homeless and Native Amerikans to vote with cigarettes or booze, that’s just plain social justice!
Right	There is no such thing outside of the left-wing ideologies and all authentic rights are based on Marxist principles of wealth redistribution.
Right-Wing	Evil in its purest form. See Vocal Minority.
Robber Baron	Every capitalist businessman.
Romney, Mitt	Wackey Mormon, Bush lackey, right-wing extremist, and filthy rich capitalist who seeks to replace our Afrikan Amerikan President in the White House.
Rousseau, Jean-Jacques	Path-breaking egalitarian philosopher who nobly sought to abolish property rights and redefine the social contract to specify the individual’s complete subservience to the collectivist society. Viva La State!
S
Sacrifice	What those who have must do for those who don’t, backed by the power of government brute force to keep it noble.
Scholarship	Any written work that has a leftist slant to it.
Scientific Method	This is the art of using carefully crafted surveys, narrowly-defined statistics, and broadly drawn conclusions to instill our higher agenda into the unsophisticated public.
Selfish	A trait of every egocentric conservative and libertarian who resists the supremacy of our utopian Marxist state.
Sexual Harassment	What happens whenever a right-winger is nominated for the Supreme Court, although we don’t always come up with the witnesses to prove it. Incidentally, this never happens when a left-wing president uses his power and influence to seduce an intern.
Sierra Club	A noble, “green” organization that spends most of its resources on lobbying to destroy the hated capitalistic system that threatens our leftist control of the environment.
Sinclair, Upton	Famed leftist intellectual writer who wrote “The Jungle”, the classic anti-capitalist bible.
Single Motherhood	One of the great feminist goals realized through our welfare state programmes, which empowers young whymen to seek an unchained, work-free egalitarian livelihood in which more babies rightly equals more income form the state.
Single-Payer	The taxpayer. Nothing good in life comes unless government provides it at taxpayer expense.
Smart Growth	The proper way to control the alarming overpopulation and destruction of our scarce natural resources by imposing a wonderful scheme of packing the mass populace into compact areas, with lots of taxpayer funding for grand, chronically empty public transportation systems that should make everyone feel guilty about not using.
Smith, Adam	Greedy capitalist philosopher/economist who materialistically tried defending the practice of allowing people to keep the money they unjustly acquired through work, barter, and other “voluntary” exchanges, when the wealth of nations can only come through grand redistribution programmes that promote the incentive of sacrificing one’s selfish values for the laudatory values of the socialist state.
Social Conscience	The inherent scruples and guilt that all of us leftists possess, which motivates us to destroy capitalistic systems of greed and allocate generous egalitarian allowances to all but the elite leftist ruling class, who deserve extra bonuses because they were ordained by Marx to decide our values and how we must live in service to the socialist state. This trait makes us much better people than the evil right-wingers, who only care about making money and their own petty, selfish lives.
Social Darwinism	What we leftists like to claim libertarianism is, especially because many of us actually believe that a libertarian society would result in mass starvation and rampant poverty for the disadvantaged because true prosperity is not measured by Gross National Product and can only be created by government fiat, central economic planning, and wealth redistribution programmes.
Social Engineering	Negative term used by right-wing extremists to criticize the well-meaning leftist programmes that nobly seek to equalize all incomes and outcomes in society.
Social Justice	Our euphemism for terms like wealth redistribution, reverse discrimination, and entitlements, which the ignorant masses selfishly find objectionable.
Socialism	The transitional step toward communism embodied in making all citizens cradle-to-grave wards of the state, as proudly put into practice in Amerikkka by the Democratic Party. The command-and-control planning by omniscient bureaucrats is a much better decider of fair prices and collective values than the chaotic, haphazard decisions made by capitalist “experts” in their fields and consumers making selfish decisions that lead to mutually beneficial transactions and economic efficiencies that serve only those who trust their own values and independence over the ever-caring, paternalistic socialist state.
Socially Relevant	Every Marxist ideal and nothing else.
Societal Values	All those good, leftist values that must be imposed on all for their own good, instead of dangerously allowing people to determine society’s values “voluntarily” through their petty pursuits in the “free market” capitalist system.
Society	That which all of us collectively belong to, which we must treat as a single entity with a leftist mindset.
Soft Money	In addition to public funding and contributions from foreign interests, this is how Democratic Party ad campaigns are primarily funded.
Soldiers	Imperialistic, but unfortunately reliable Republican Party voting bloc that we must disenfranchise.
Soul	There is no such thing, except as a metaphor for left-wing angst.
Special Interests	The motley assortment of extremist right-wing groups like the NRA, “Big Business”, Fox News, and the Washington Times, which wield economic power over the exploited masses. This is not to be confused with the noble, left-wing organizations like labor unions, trial lawyers, environmental lobbyists, the New York Times, and other Social Democrats that help lead our crusade for one-world socialism.
Spin	Something that right-wingers resort to in their political speech, but which we leftists never use.
Stalin, Josef	Noble implementer of the great communist experiment that would have succeeded if he just would have killed all the capitalists!
Star Wars	The Republican-driven “strategic missile defense” program that aims to shoot down missiles from friendly socialist or terrorist nations instead of using diplomacy and foreign aid to give reparations for all the harm we’ve done to these victim nations. Besides, why should the greedy capitalists be spared the horror of nuclear war when that is their just dessert for having invented the technology? Death to capitalism!
Statecraft	Every law and decree made by a leftist government, which masterfully enacts Karl Marx’s glorious vision.
Statism	Used as an unkind word to describe the kind of peaceful welfare state that we leftists would implement to squelch all dissenting voices, smash the capitalist system, and keep the public completely dependent on from cradle to grave.
Statistics	The province we leftists can always tap into and interpret as we see fit to find some kind of data to support any conclusion we want.
Subsidy	This word has been assigned a negative connotation by ruthless right-wingers, when it should be heralded as the bare living wage or stipend needed for the needy and altruistic state benefactors to survive. This honorable form of payment has unfortunately been taken advantage of by undeserving private organizations that are not even controlled by unions!
Suburbs	Where greedy capitalists overpopulate our scarce environmental resources and consume most of the national wealth, while carelessly driving their big SUVs that increase our dependence on fossil fuels and emit most of the greenhouse gases that are destroying our planet.
Subversiveness	Something we leftists proudly exercise to expose and attack the imperialistic, patriarchal capitalist system that keeps the poor man and whyman down.
Success	What every greedy capitalist seeks at the expense of the poor and destitute, who are doomed to fail whenever others succeed.
Supreme Court	The body that is assigned its proper role of interpreting and rewriting laws and the Constitution from a Marxist perspective whenever possible.
Supreme Court Appointments	A process that must only be open to leftists.
Surrender	What Republicans unfairly claim that the Democratic Party’s foreign policy is, just because we are sensitive and strive not to resort to force whenever a leftist dictator or militant harms Amerikkkans.
SUV	Sports Utility Vehicle, the ultimate in evil motor vehicles.
Swift Boat Veterans for Truth	A shameful band of Vietnam veteran attack hounds unleashed by George W. Bush to successfully dishonor future president John Kerry’s life-threatening wounds and noble service to the Amerikan Navy and the anti-war movement. Their charges were too ridiculous to respond to, so we leftists and our media friends assassinated their character instead.
T
Taliban	Islamic conservatives in Afghanistan who, while we pity them for being victims of imperialism, offer a useful name we can call right-wingers in Amerikkka so that we can draw no distinction between public executions of violators of strict religious ordinances and executions of serial killers.
Tautology	The circular argument – another effective means we left-wingers employ with panache.
Tax Cut	A transparent attempt by right-wingers to steal that which rightfully belongs to the collectivist state. We have cleverly made the concept of cutting taxes synonymous with the negative budget impact on government spending programmes, which undermines the whole selfish idea that the money people work for belongs to them. Only the welfare state knows how to put people’s money to good use!
Taxes	Our duty owed to our supreme socialist state. This mundane system should eventually be done away with because it perpetuates the selfish idea that individuals “earn” what they receive in “voluntary” transactions, when in reality they are stealing what rightfully belongs equally to each one of us and should be seized and judiciously doled out by the benevolent welfare state. Citizens should receive all their living wages from the good graces of the socialist state.
Ten Percent	This is what we leftists know to be the minimum percentage of our society that is gay, lesbian, or transgendered.
Terrorist	Downtrodden freedom fighter who is really a helpless victim of Amerikkkan oppression and imperialism. Right-wingers have created all the terrorists of the world through their rejection of diplomacy and lack of toleration of foreign cultures that happen to have different beliefs than them about the “morality” of the political methods they employ to achieve their ends. The Bush-directed persecution of the poor, helpless freedom fighters in Abu Ghraib prison who were only defending themselves against Amerikkkan aggression is a perfect example of how right-wingers are really to blame for creating so-called “terrorists” and their acts. No wonder they hate us so much!
Terrorist Ties	This was another supposed justification for Bush’s imperialistic war against the peaceful Saddam Hussein. The New York Times has correctly asserted that there were no such ties, and past meetings between al Qaida and Iraqi agents, terrorist fugitives being given safe haven in Iraq, and payoffs to suicide bombers do not qualify as terrorist ties.
Theft	Any “free market” transaction. Note that seizing the wealth of capitalists is not theft, but just reappropriation of publicly owned resources.
Tort Reform	An evil plot by the extremist right-wing fringe to deny the escalating lawsuit award judgments against deep-pocketed corporations that enable our trial lawyer friends like John Edwards to fund their noble lifestyles, as well as the Democratic Party.
Totalitarianism	Tyrannical authoritarianism that is only possible from a right-wing regime. Left-wing despots are, of course, completely immune from such a charge as they benevolently subjugate the masses for their own common good.
Townhall.com	A pitiable right-wing web site that attempts to refute our superior Marxist ideology with mere logic and reason.
Traditional Values	The values and morals that we leftists truly believe that right-wingers embrace, such as lynching blacks, beating up gays, and keeping the "little whyman" barefoot, pregnant, and in servitude. Such accusations just make us feel so intelligent and superior!
Tragedy of the Commons	What happens when greedy capitalists exploit our national resources. Libertarians boast that such problems can be avoided through the incentives to preserve the value of investments inherent in private ownership of our commons, but the private individual tends to lack the law-abiding public-spiritedness that is the only possible incentive to prevent one from overharvesting or despoiling “property”.
Trial Lawyer	Platinum club contributor to the Democratic Party and operative who uses completely legal intimidation to set up shop in voting facilities to turn the voter tide our way (e.g., 2002 South Dakota elections).
Trickle-down	The term we like to use to characterize “supply-side” economics, to give the impression that this economic theory expects dollars to magically flow to the poor from rich, white guys who spend them. What’s funny is that our welfare state actually realizes this goal, with the leftover tax dollars after bureaucrats are done taking their cut trickling down to the deserving recipients, but it ain’t no magic! We leftists know that only the rich benefit from economic growth, while the poor stay forever mired in poverty, waiting and hoping for welfare checks to free them from the toils of non-union labor and save their miserable lives, and that’s why our welfare state has such an important role to fulfill in our society.
Trotsky, Leon	Noble collaborator in the killing of greedy capitalists and trusty domestic partner of Lenin.
Truth	That which only leftists have access to. Right-wingers, on the other hand, have a monopoly on falsehoods.
Tse-tung, Mao	Brilliant, compassionate tyrant who implemented the Rectification Campaign and Marx’s glorious vision of egalitarian utopia for all with such wonderful government force.
Turning back the clock	Subversive attempts to halt or reverse progress along the glorious path that Karl Marx laid out for us.
U
Unabomber	Honorable leftist crusader who demonstrated his dedication to our cause through means that we sanction only for fellow travelers like him.
Unemployed	Those whose numbers we leftists seek to inflate and highlight during Republican presidential administrations, while underestimating and downplaying them during Democratic presidential administrations. Ideally, we’d like to see everyone either unemployed or employed by the state, and we are doing everything in our power to get there.
Unilateralism	Government actions that do not acquiesce to the U.N. and the great socialist nation states of the world.
Union	A noble brotherhood or sisterhood of proletarian workers who stand united for government-enforced wages that are always above the “market value” that greedy capitalist employers are willing to pay.
Union of Concerned Scientists	Proud socialist front organization dedicated to bringing down all right-wing governments that dare to remove critical funding for scientific research that aims to emasculate the hated capitalistic and imperialistic “free market” system.
Unitarian Church	Our secret religious front organization that is dedicated to undermining the relevance of other religions and promoting liberal causes.
United Nations	The grand committee and final arbiter of all world political issues. They were established to rectify all the social injustice, poverty, and strife that right-wing governments create when they refuse to let us leftists destroy their wealth-generating systems of “free trade”, commerce, and overabundance.
United States	Amerikkka. What we leftists have deemed to be our most prized host, which we must bleed dry of all its wealth to fund our noble causes.
Universal Health Care	The primary goal of our democratic Queen (see Clinton, Hillary). Nationalization of this and every industry will guarantee that every profit motive geared toward advancing medical technology and service will be destroyed, in favor of making medical professionals serve their communities for reasons other than money, while letting left-wing bureaucrats call all the shots. This will make our quality of health care and medical innovations more in line with that in the rest of the world, so that people in more socialistic nations will not feel so envious.
Unscrupulous	Every non-leftist businessman.
Utilitarian	One who recognizes that we shouldn’t be bothered by mere facts and petty concepts of individual rights and property ownership, when it comes to the welfare state’s need to exercise its grand schemes of collectivist domination to secure equal outcomes for all.
Utopia	A world where the vision of Karl Marx is fully implemented.
V
Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy	The only thing keeping us from imposing our agenda on all of humanity.
Victim of Society	Any minority, welfare recipient, or whyman who has been unjustly oppressed by the patriarchal, imperialistic, capitalist society.
Vietnam	What every military engagement quickly looks like when a Republican administration is leading it. See Quagmire.
Vocal Minority	Those few, over-represented right-wingers out there who seek to inflict their policies of capitalism, imperialism, and bigotry upon all those poor, unwashed victims whose interests we leftists are uniquely qualified to defend.
Voluntary	This describes every citizen’s submission to our proud leftist programme. So-called “voluntary” interactions in the “free market” system are really coerced by hypnotic advertising and the predatory behavior of capitalist swindlers exploiting the basic needs of consumers.
W
War	Only justifiable if permission is granted by the United Nations, unless it is waged against the hated, disreputable right-wingers of the world.
Welfare	The most basic human right for any who are not willing to work for a living, and a clever way to keep the unskilled from getting the skills needed to compete for government or union jobs with us left-wing intellectuals.
Welfare State	This term has been given unfair negative connotations by right-wingers, but it describes the apparatus for administering the basic human right for the disadvantaged who choose not to work in drudgery to get free taxpayer largesse as a living wage. We leftists deserve all the credit and praise for creating this programme of charitable giving, even though it requires that we justly extract the funds from the selfish, greedy rich.
White Flag	What the flag for a new, leftist controlled Amerika should be changed to – then we can joyfully burn all those hated red, white, and blue flags!
White Trash	These are the contemptible filth who work for a living and live lowly lives in hovels and trailer parks, while we pass legislation to subsidize them and keep them in their place. And many of them have the ungrateful gall to vote Republican!
Whymen	The enslaved sex that is brutally oppressed by right-wing white male dominance.
Will of the People	Something we leftists only care about when we win elections. If elections go against us, we must resort to every possible means to ensure that “the people” will be subjected to our brand of socialism.
WMD	Weapons of Mass Destruction, which we like to assert were Bush’s sole justification for the 2003 Iraq War. Even though active WMD programs and Sarin and Mustard Gas shells have been found, there will never be enough evidence for us leftists to stop claiming that Bush lied about Saddam’s WMD just to get some free oil for his Texas oil cronies.
Working Class	We understand this term to mean union members, government workers, and net beneficiaries of government wealth redistribution schemes who we can count on for Democratic Party votes. All those ambitious working stiffs who turn their noses up at our grand policies of benevolent wealth redistribution, seeking to climb the ladder of success while voting against us, can look forward to experiencing our special brand of high taxes. We strive so hard to put them in the comforting lap of government dependency from cradle to grave and this is the thanks we get from these ingrates!
Wrong	There is no such thing outside of the right-wing ideologies.
X
X Generation	The “me generation” that grew up in the ‘80s and ‘90s, selfishly putting their own shallow, individualist, technology-oriented, video-game interests above conforming to the higher purpose of one-world socialism.
Y
Yuppie	The hated “Young Urban Professional”, coined in the decade of greed to describe the typical greedy whites, who selfishly care a lot more about their own lives and families than they do for the progressive socialist mission we leftists are on to make Yuppies pay for all of our well-meaning social programmes that keep the poor dependent and safe from the ravages of the capitalist work life.
Z
Zero Sum Game	A fundamental leftist law of economics that insists that one person’s gain must result in another person’s loss.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

© 2008 The Mainstream Leftist